Time Machines, Why We Don't Have Them, and Why We Never Will

Douglas Adams's book Life, The Universe And Everything (the lack of a second comma is not a typo) has a section about time travel that talks about how history is so messed up as a result of time travel, but because of the rules of time, nothing was ever messed up, that's just how it happened in the first place because after all, in our minds, perception is reality. For example, I could tell you that the signing of the Declaration of Independance was actually a massive viewing of the movie Jaws and later someone went back in time, delayed the production of Jaws a few hundred years (I could also say that Jaws was originally made in 1346) and replaced it with the starting of an exceedingly boring country known as The Republic of People Who Like Jaws. However, then another person later went back and saw to it that the country was named The United States of America. How would you prove me wrong? After all, nobody would know what the past was like before time travel. However the very premise of time travel proves that none of this could have happened because of the lack of time machines in the past, present, and future, because with the implications of time machines, they all suddenly would be in complete contact with each other.

Here's why

Let's say that a person ten years in the future invents a time machine. But through a horrifying accident, he dies from a giant moustrap (because we all know that the earth in five years is going to be invaded by giant mice that find it humorous to use giant moustraps on humans) and his machine is destroyed with him. But taking the secular standpoint that time and the universe itself is infinite, someone after him would make another time machine. He would most likely also die, though it would be from an incident involving a fossilized tomato. So suppose that another person a few million years in the future makes a time machine and survives long enough to use it. He's suddenly going to have access to every point in time, and one of these infinite number of people who manages to make and use a time machine is going to have infinite opportunities to share the knowledge with some poor sap in the past. Eventually this infinite number of people, through the infinity of time would have visited the very beginning of time and given people the technology of time machines. So now people have always had time machines. However going back to the original point that perception is reality and history is perception, we would have no knowledge of time machines not existing. They would have always been there. Therefore we would have them now at this very moment and I would have seen my future self telling me to not waste my time writing this post because I'm not going to go back in time and have it happen. No, it would have already happened because anything that I do in the future that involves going into my past, I would experience as it happens in the past before I go to the future. But since we don't have time machines now, we never will because time travel just isn't possible since we don't and didn't always have the knowledge.

New Moon lolcats and New Year's Resolutions

So as a New Year's resolution I decided to start blogging again. It may not be about anything in particular, but who said a rabid camel has to make sense? But first of all, here's a link to a brilliant little post:

*NEW MOON SPOILER ALERT*
http://microsuede.blogspot.com/2009/11/movie-review-twilight-saga-new-moon.html

Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like and it contains massive New Moon spoilers so read at your own risk.

So like I said, I've been thinking of a New Year's resolution and the only thing besides growing an afro was to start blogging again. After all, I blogged for years on Xanga and it was one of the most relaxing stimulating things I ever did. Anyway whether I was writing about Monty Python, crazy social situations, eternal warping situations involving my left ear, or just screaming at people in a British accent, I always had fun. I don't really care if you didn't have fun but you're not being forced to read this... Until now.

Suppose there's an old man sitting in a tree. The old man can't and has to use a powerchair. Unfortunately because of this he can't get out of the tree and he's too high up to just jump out. How do we get him out? Climb up and carry him out you say? The trunk isn't really there. It's just floating. What about a helicopter? Unfortunately it has anti helicopter flying thingamajigger leaves so you would think that a helicopter would work. But what if the helicopter isn't there? Get another one? What the heck is up with you? Let me think of my crazy theories while I listen to the noise of cars wrecking. But if you tell me you're going to get another helicopter then I'm just going to say that there's no reason for that because I'll just say that it isn't really there.

Now, if you were to tell me that I'm insane, couldn't I just say you're insane? After all, in my mind it could be reality, but then I would be insane. So I'm insane either way? Well you're insane. WHAT NOW?!?!?!

But seriously now, it's the end of the year and I just realized that my life has changed crazily this year. First of all, I've started hanging around with a lot of different people than I used to. Mostly those deviously evil little public schoolers. However after an extended leave of absense from various homeschooler events, I started hanging out with them again. So I guess it's a win-win situation.

Also, I'm no longer a vegetarian after 2 and a half years. Actually I just realized that this made it sound like I just started eating meat again. No, that was about 3 months ago. Just remember that obsessive label reading is real and not fun.

Thirdly I finally realized what I really want to do for a career. I'm planning on becoming a high school counselor as ironic as that is. I know here I am a homeschooled guy who could have his masters degree by the time he's 22 and he wants to be a high school counselor. Ah well, I have yet to have any direction otherwise so I'm just going to hope that this is what God wants me to do. So despite the irony, I plan on going through with this.

That's all I'm going to talk about for now. I'll talk to you doods later.